Feeling so very lost and angry and confused.

Feeling so very lost and angry and confused.

The ex has been in touch with me, it is all very confusing.

My anxiety kicks in every time I speak or see him. Not sure what emotions I feel. It may seem strange and make others angry, but I do still love him and he said he loved me and still loves me??? Now that is confusing the absolute hell out of me. Outside influences always made things difficult for us and we just didn’t make it through. It’s hard to talk to anyone about it and I mean anyone whether friends or family. I can talk to certain people about it , in fact that confuses me, why I am so confused about how I feel about him.

I spoke to him today, it was a normal kinda conversation and when he rung me at work the day before, he sounded like he knew me, said things that meant something to me. ME.

It kinda feels like I am withering or going off the path but I don’t think I am, it is all part of this journey.

I’m back at work really only very part-time, the week hasn’t started off easily. I feel lost at work too. I know something about me that they don’t know but I can feel them all speculating, makes me want to shout it from the rooftops – probably not the best idea and not something that I am gonna actually do but I feel anger inside me bubbling away.

Things, people, anything annoys me, stress again makes me want to shout from the rooftops, and again not something I intend to do but what is it that I am looking for?

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4 years ago

It’s good to know you are in a much better place today, keep up the great work Sam.